I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
did i just pee glitter
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize