but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
