are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
