Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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