theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
