i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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