I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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