i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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