she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
