i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
and she was petting her beer can
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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