Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
