So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
