I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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