I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
