he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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