some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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