I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
