he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize