I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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