Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
