Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize