U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
