areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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