he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
