is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
