Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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