i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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