The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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