when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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