You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize