If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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