I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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