At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
