Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
