I think I just saw someone hide a body.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!