Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.