Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I color on your dick again?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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