i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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