im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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