this must be what syphilis tastes like
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
