one word: firstdatebathroomanal
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize