Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
