I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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