Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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