He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
