HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
