Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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