Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize