she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
