I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
