I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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