The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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