Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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