so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
