I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
