This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
