Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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